Another Date for the Bald Guy

Overall it was the best court appearance i've had, thanks to a Public Defender who apparently watched too many Law and Order episodes. As I walked into the courtroom, three police officers I have worked with before, stood to shake hands with me. No real reason for this, I just think the courtroom environment brings out the professionalism in them. I walked across the back of the room looking for an empty seat to hang my coat, and to show the Sergeant my file on the defendant, who I will call, "the bald guy."

While reviewing video of the previous weeekend, I observed this bald guy entering my store three separate times and stealing atleast twice. Problem being, I was home enjoying my weeekend off when this was happening. Unfortunately for the bald guy, he became greedy and came back on Monday, when I was working. As a result, I caught him stealing a DVD Player. I quickly explained what I had seen on the video to the Sergeant in the back of the courtroom before the hearing started. He quickly gathered the Public Defender and Assistant District Attorney and asked if they wanted to combine the thefts and include it in ttoday's hearing, or should they file an additional complaint for the weekend thefts. The answer was, file an additional complaint.

The hearing began with the bald guy being led into the courtroom by a constable. He walked slowly with his wrists still in hadcuffs and his ankles shackled. He never once lifted his head to see me, the judge, the attorney...nobody. He spent the entire hearing staring down at the table he sat behind.

I was called to the stand, sworn in by the judge, and the fun began. First the Assistant District Attorney started his "direct." He asked all of the important questions which exposed the root of the matter...I observed bald guy enter the store, enter the electronics department, conceal the merchandise, and leave the store without paying. At this point, many Defense Attorneys stand and announce, "No questions your honor." But not this time.

The young Irish looking girl stood and began her "cross examination."

"What was he wearing when you saw him?"

"How far away from him were you when he put the box in his back pack?"

"Did you follow him into the bathroom?"

And then she sort of went astray, if you ask me the rookie Law and Order fan.

"What size was the box you saw him put in his back pack?" Hmmm...I wondered why on Earth is she asking this?

"About the size of that book in front of you," I said pointing to the large law book on the defense table. She slid the book across the table looking at it.

"So would you say 12 inches by, say.... 8 inches?"

I really couldnt belive this line of questioning and even glanced back to the Asst. District Attorney, waiting for him to object for irrelevance.

"Sure, that's about right. My mind drifted to the courtroom scene in a Few Good Men. I wanted to say...

"This bald guy is facing felony charges, please tell me his lawyer hasn't pinned his hopes on the exact size of the box I saw him steal!"

The rest of the hearing was a volley of questions and objections. Some were overruled, some were sustained. It was the longest I had ever testified on the stand. I became comfortable with the questioning to the point I started giving only yes and no answers, and made the Public Defender work for every inch. She couldn't understand how I could be five feet away from the bald guy when he concealed the merchandise, but not be in the same aisle as him. Then again, she never asked it correctly. She never once asked how I could see him, answer being the mirror on the ceiling above him. It would be simple if she knew what to ask.

In the end, he was held for trial on the felony charges due to so many priors. As a result of my video findings, we will all meet up again in the courtoom next weeek to play this game again. This time, the bald guy will be facing up to five years in jail and $5,000 fine.

Stay tuned...