As Long As We Keep Hiring Idiots...I Will Have A Job!!! (...wait a second)

So, the sulking has subsided temporarily.

Saturday I arrived to work in the morning with the Office Manager a little more disgruntled than usual. She finally, reluctantly, admitted that we were missing twenty dollars from a register from the previous night. To her, it was a challenge to figure out where the missing money was. She wanted to find it herself, and before I had a chance to look into it. Oh well, this time, she had to give up and turn it over to me for the REAL investigation. (Actually, I enjoy having her handle it before me so I am not looking for every two and three dollar "wrong change" transaction.)

So, my day starts with her turning over the paperwork from the previous shift transactions, and says good luck. Off I go to my cave, never to be seen again until I have come up with an answer to the "Case of the Missing Twenty."

Through the paperwork, computer and video, I narrow the issue down to a new employee working the register. Eventually, I review video of most of her shift with nothing that really jumps out at me. I review the printed receipts of all of her transactions, still not much found. It was maybe my third review of the information in front of me when I decided to look at any transactions where a twenty dollar bill was used to pay, or as change. Coincidentally, I found two back to back purchases of one bottle of soda where the customers used a twenty dollar bill to pay. I brought up the video of these purchases and found the first one was rung up and changed perfectly. The second transaction, immediately after the first, started when she tells a small boy to leave the line next to her and come into hers. He brings a bottle of Coke and places it on her counter. She rings it up, he hands her a twenty dollar bill and suddenly she appears to be confused about the change or the price or something... She ends up handing the boy a five dollar bill as change. Now, I'm no mathemetician, but a $1.39 purchase from a twenty dollar bill does not result in a five dollar bill in change! However, the boy accepted that, and left with his fifteen dollar bottle of Coke. I then slowed the video down and watched as the cashier holds the remaining bills in her hand until she closes her drawer, and slips it into her pocketbook. Day One: Case Closed.

After realizing she was definitely a thief, I then go back in time and check her previous shifts. Fortunately, she had only been hired three weeks ago. I review register shortages during the past month, and what do ya know.... two more 20.00 shortages occur on her register during her shifts. Hmmm. Coincidence?

I repeat the same steps for each day. I pull transactions, I review video, etc etc. Two shifts ago I observe her being told to switch registers. I watch with Sherlock Holmes-like detail, every hand movement she makes. And suddenly, there it is! She pulls her pocket book up over her left shoulder. She then pulls the cash drawer from the register, but I notice her right hand is holding the drawer from underneath the right side, while her left hand seems to be on top of the drawer at the left side. I slowed the video down to a snails pace and noticed she was actually curling up the twenty dollar bill with her left hand, and palming it as she moved the drawer out of the register. She turns left, right into the camera, and as she walks to the next register, she slips her left hand into the pocket book hanging over her shoulder. Day Two: Case Closed.

I check her schedule and change mine to match hers so I can watch her live. This results in a bunch of shady actions, very suspicious behavior, but the only thing I see clearly, is when she pulls a pack of Bic lighters off the counter nearby, walk back to her register and drops the lighters down on her pocket book under her register. I watch the rest of her shift, and she never attempts to purchase the lighters. Day Three: Add Retail Theft.

While working with her that evening, I discover a note from her on the HR office door. She is asking for the rest of the day off, but can work tomorrow if hours are available. I run immediately to the store manager and advise him to tell her to come in tomorrow, and she can have the rest of the week off. (I'm thinking alot longer than that...but we can start there.) She is overjoyed to hear the news. My plan: Collect my evidence, have her come in, interview her, get her confession, and have her arrested.

I team up with my interrogation partner, an LP from a neighboring store, and plan our attack. By 6pm last night, with only 30 minutes left in my shift, I have the manager call her back to the office. She seems completely oblivious as to why we would want to speak to her. The interview/interrogation started slowly, with her giggling at the thought of people being dumb enough to steal knowing there are cameras all over. This changed when we shifted our attitude to...we know the answers to every question we are going to ask. We will know if you are lying or not. She started getting nervous shifting back and forth in her seat. Her voice lowered to almost a whisper at times. She finally admitted taking money, but had a good reason. That was my cue (Good Cop). I said "we absolutely want to hear why, I'm sure you had a good reason, thats fine, but let's talk about how much and when you took money. Then we'll talk about why and I'll make sure I write it all down." She agreed to tell us when, and how much it was each time. By the time we were done, it totalled $100.00 cash removed from her register over a period of few shifts.

When her confession didn't match the facts, my partner (Bad Cop) got angry, "losing his patience" and stormed out of the room. She turned to me and said "I don't want him to be mad..." I took this opportunity to work my angle of "let's see what we can remember and as long as you are completely honest, and quit the lies, I'll be able to stop my partner from proceeding down a path you don't want to go...believe me!"

Eventually, after a wave of tears, and an hour and a half of "I really have a bad memory" and me reviewing the facts with her over and over...she came clean to stealing $100.00 and the bic lighters. I handed her a notebook, and very Law and Order-like said... "Put it in writing..."

After she cracked, I rewarded her with a can of soda. She was all mine after that. My partner never returned... we needed her to stay inside this comfort zone with me. She explained she needed $100.00 to pay off a fine. Go figure. Once she completed the written statement, I signed it, our female witness signed it, and I said I needed to go make a copy. Just before the door closed behind me, she asked... "Will any of this leave this room?" "Wait, be right back..." leaving that question unanswered.

I did actually make a copy, but in addition, I called the Police Department and advised them I had an employee stealing $100.00 from the register. I then walked to the front desk, told the associate there to give us ten minutes after he sees the police officer arrive, then call all the other employees up front for a minute. (Right now you may be calling me names...but more than embarassing the thief, I wanted to make an impression upon the high school kids we still had working in the store. I have exceeded my employee apprehension goal for the year, it can stop now.)

Officers arrived, I explained what I had, and the first officer opened the office door with an opening statement of... "Ever been arrested before?"

She almost passed out. The helpful guy that I am, as she was being handcuffed, I asked, "Are your things still at your register? We can get that on the way out..." I then heard the announcement for all associates to come to the front desk for their returned merchandise. She tried every possible excuse why she shouldnt be in cuffs, but apparently the cop had done this once or twice before. "The cuffs aren't too tight, I can fit my finger in between them.."

I led the parade from the back of the store to the front, behind me was the thief with her hands in cuffs behind her, a police officer holding her arm, a Police Sergeant behind him, my partner, then our witness.

Employees, most part timers still in high school, stood with eyes wide open. I heard a few comments muttered, "How stupid." "Dumb." "Are you kidding me?"

Hopefully, lesson learned.

As the officers loaded her up and drove off all eyes were on me. I just smiled, and walked back to the office with my notebook in hand. Let the rumors begin!!

By tomorrow night when I return to work, she will have stolen a television, I'm sure. That's okay, it was entertaining enough as it was.